A Mouse's Perspective

Standing under the lamp post, stood a large pink mouse with large ears, two dark eyes, and a round red nose with whiskers.
I should have been astonished, but it seemed, somehow, to fit the scenery. It was an ordinary February evening. By ordinary and February in the Midwest, I mean, the snow was piled high, perhaps about 20 feet, where people had blown snow or used vehicles, snowplows, that is.
I recall coming out of the building in the early afternoon and hearing a low howling sound. I thought, "What is that? A cat?" For I'd remembered hearing an inordinate yowling when I was young, that I could have sworn was a crying baby, and yet, it was a cat.
The snowplow, on its way across the street, stopped half way and moved back. Apparently, the "cat" was a large middle-aged woman who'd fallen behind her own car. The snowplow driver helped her up, and I inquired whether everything was okay. The problem appeared to be taken care of.
But, my evening visitor questioned my earlier experience.
"You showed good judgment."
"How so?"
"Your first thoughts were correct."
"How would you know my thoughts?"
"It was, in fact, a cat."
"No, it was a human, a woman."
"It was a cat, fair and square, and if you'd called 911, the feline would have sued you."
"Why?"
"Because of her cat nature. Cats are responsible for all the troubles of the world."
"Wouldn't you say you were a bit biased?"
"It's true. She would list your number as suspicious and take you to court. She would say you'd hit her."
"I hadn't even gotten into my car yet!"
"Just the same, she would do that," He stated, twitching his red nose and whiskers, "since she's a cat."
"I actually felt sorry for her, once I knew she was a lady in distress, I regretted not having helped her."
"Have no regrets. That was no lady."
I sighed in frustration.
The mouse tipped his hat, which I hadn't noticed he'd been wearing.
"Well, thank you for reassuring me that I'd done right after all. What's your name?"
"Mouse."
"That's logical." I replied, suddenly thinking that nothing else was logical about having a conversation with a large mouse under a lamp post.
"Yes," he said, as he twirled his cane, (something else I hadn't noticed), and walked off, "The cats are responsible for all the troubles of the world."

You Get What You Pay For

The $420,000 price tag on the ottoman, whose lid was misaligned, goaded her into action. How dare they charge for the set, that is, the couch and the ottoman, when the latter was in disrepair!
She had asked for a furniture repair person, who tried to deceive her within earshot of her husband, and the latter figured out the con. The rep said he couldn't do anything about it, because, well, once they're delivered, you're stuck with it, as is. With the male temper flaring in the next room, the so-called company representative, went into survival mode and made a beeline for the door. He'd been caught double crossing.
To think that this guy was going to try to pull the wool over her eyes, just because he figured she was a ditsy female; the reason? Female = ditsy, Ditsy = female.
Her adrenaline began to rise. Her face flushed. She could feel the heat rising on her cheeks, as she spat some expletives-deleted toward her husband, regarding how she was headed directly toward the furniture company to get justice. He admonished that it wasn't going to do any good, which made her even more determined.
She put her foot on the gas. Her lips formed a straight line, indicative of her furor. She affirmed, "The steps of a good woman are ordered by the Lord, and she prospers in her way", several times. (Admittedly, this passage-Ps. 37:23-had been amended from the original script.)
By the time she got to the furniture store, a memory of a lady came to her. The lady had told the story that when she was pregnant, she got up on a stool at the department store and protested a raw deal, drawing onlookers. So, she too, got up on a stool in front of God and everybody at the furniture store customer service counter and loudly proclaimed that the clown they'd sent pulled a fast one, and they'd better make good by supplying her with a new identical ottoman, if they couldn't fix this one.
"Ma'am, please, please stop," he pleaded in embarrassment, "it's just a piece of furniture!"
"It's not just a piece of furniture when you charge $420,000 for the set and give me a defunct ottoman!"
"Okay, okay, we'll make sure to come through with an exchange. Just please, please, settle down, and stop making a scene!"
Not surprisingly, another female customer had been standing in line, due to another similar ripoff. Discussion between disgruntled females followed.
So she exited the place, quietly repeating, "The steps of a good woman are ordered by the Lord, and she prospers in her way!" She put her foot on the accelerator and sped off.
The old ottoman was exchanged for a new one in a matter of a couple of days.
You get what you pay for...if you persist.