Self Esteem Assault Revisited

 Imagine, carrying around someone's criticism for 55 years. This incident was in college in the dorm tower. We had house parents in the persons of a professor and his wife, located near the office. I was seldom there, but happened to be seated on a couch when some other student rolled a large hard ball toward their door. It "clunked", of course. So, the professor came out and glared at whoever it was, not being able to figure it out. Being me, and young, I burst into giggles. His wife declared, "I don't know what you're going to do when you get out in the world, Anita." Well, she didn't know me that well. I think I was rooming on about the 5th floor. And so, having been an impressionable student age, I carried that evaluation around for probably the rest of my life. How did this person who knew very little about me, barring my name, have such prophetic powers to predict my entire future? When I told my cousin about it, she didn't get what the lady meant by "out in the world", since I was obviously not on another planet at the time. It took today to figure out that I may have been mistaken as the "ball culprit", and the statement leveled at me was bull@&/%.

An Ode to Road (Construction)

 Clif Walter Martin inspired a song in me to the tune of the Kingston Trio song about the MTA: (Metropolitan Transit Authority) with credit to them.

"All I wanted to do was to go to Meijer,

to pick up some groceries,

But all I could do was get lost in the detours,

Crying what will become of me?

Chorus: But will I ever return? No, I'll never return,

and my fate is still unlearned,

I will ride forever through the streets of Muskegon,

I'm a gal, who'll never return.

Well, all I did was to take the wrong U-Turn..

And now, it's a quarter past 3.

I'll never afford to see my brother in Stoton,

nor my cousin in Eau Clairee.

Chorus: But will I ever return? No, I'll never return,

and my fate is still unlearned,

I will ride forever through the streets of Muskegon,

I'm a gal, who'll never return.

All night long, I've been following detours,

Neither store nor home, I see.

The only way out of this construction,

is to head for Michigan City.

New chorus.

But will I ever return?

No, I'll never return,

and my fate is still unlearned,

I will drive forever,

Through Michigan City,

through Chicago, and never return!"

(This is what little old ladies at grocery stores are really doing when they seem deep in thought.)

Temper, Temper

 I confess I had an altercation with somebody I didn't even know recently. So, I tried to consult with one of my psychology books, a chapter on anger, trying to clear my head about it. I believe that from time to time, you can find it beneficial to analyze your erroneous thoughts. After I got done with the chapter, I could see things a little more clearly.

 But then, I thought of that loose cannon down in Maralago and wondered if he EVER did any self examination, particularly about anger. Perhaps his niece, Mary, might be able to answer this, but it might be pretty simple, like, no.

Observe, Only More Deeply

 Observation from a take-out line:

First, I spotted a bike,

and I thought, "It's good I'm stopped for awhile, because I could have

run over it."

Second, I noticed a "student" carrying a large back pack on his back, sitting on a curb just in front of the bike, probably eating his take-out. I thought, "I'm glad they're taking awhile, because I might have run over his foot on the way out." Then, I noticed the bike was loaded with trash bags full of stuff.

So, third, I saw him get up, was gray bearded and not a student. And I thought, "I'm glad they're taking their sweet time, because I might have collided into a homeless senior about to mount his bike with all his earthly belongings."

On the Tips of Your Fingers

 We've been escaping to watch "Corner Gas" after the news. And it's a temporarily good remedy.

Having been raised in a small town, I got sent to another one to go to college. I'm a walker, so I walked in both. In the original one, there was a trap door from the attic, and I could go up there and sing with my guitar. At night, it must have been a little spooky, as the light from the attic attracted the city police with a flashlight. So, when I was out walking one night, the police stopped me again. I told them my name, and they, wondering who would be out walking in the dark of night, put the two events, atop the attic and walking at night, together. And they said, "Oh, it's you...no wonder!" So, it was a natural transition to walk in the next town, which doesn't bring back good memories. But it was safe. The point of this is, this is where I come from.

It's true that 1968 was not a good year for my family, and I won't go into details about that string of events here, but it wasn't a good year for our country, either.

So, either near or after graduation, I remember being on a charter bus, and a fellow from New Zealand started talking to me, saying, when he said he was going to the states, they said, well, you'd better carry a gun. I was taken aback! It was a bit before the '70's. I'd never heard we had that reputation. Coincidentally, I saw him a little later at a wedding of my friend to another New Zealander.

I could never have envisioned, though, with all that violence in the late 60's, it would morph into what we have now. The violence seemed confined to marches and VIP's getting killed, as well as soldiers brought home in coffins, one of whom was my brother.

My parents were Republican, and I don't think they could have envisioned what the party has morphed into now. At least, I hope they wouldn't have stubbornly clung to the party after all the shenanigans this party has pulled, voting in Trump, and a number of other unsavory characters, and staging an insurrection to overthrow the government.

We may not have been all that nice to each other in school, but we never had to fear for our safety. The events started with a mentally ill lady from Madison, Wisconsin, who walked into a classroom facilitated by a substitute teacher, in Illinois, and opened fire. The assailant managed to kill one child. I was so blown away by that, I got a whole book to read on this incident, trying to figure out who could do such a thing! It was unfathomable that this kind of thing would spread and grow and grow.

This does not mean that I think mental illness is the problem. Most people with mental problems don't go do these things.

The problem is the military assault weapons. It's time to stop trying to arm teachers. That's not their training, and that's not what they signed up for. It's time to stop saying the kids should have guns. Consider the stage of development kids are in, where they say, "Bang Bang...you're dead!" And people are insane enough to say they should have real guns.

During the era I've referred to, I got some counseling from a minister who bordered on modernism. He pointed out that when you play the guitar, what do you develop on your fingers? I could tell him from experience, callouses. Such is the way with the human spirit...you can develop...callouses.

So, if you wonder what's with the people in our government and those who vote for them, what exactly is wrong as they continue being enticed by the money they get from the gun lobby. They show no consideration for teachers, children, the children's parents and grandparents, these "leaders" have become exactly that...completely calloused.

Downsizing: How to Present a Little House

 I'm kind of fascinated with Tiny Houses

and watch videos of them being presented. I even tried to fall asleep as I figured out dimensions of my house and tiny ones, figuring if I cut mine in half and moved it off the basement...walla!

My imagination moved me beyond these speculations, as being a presenter of a "little" house. I'd say, "You can see we don't have much bathroom space, (never did) but you can open the sliding shower doors, (an idea I got from a B&B in Appleton, Wisconsin, with a shower head similar to those at the Y).

Now, there is still a small space under the sink to keep your cleaning items." So, I open the sliding doors. "Here are baskets I got at the Dollar Tree ,so as to be more organized", so I try to move heaven and earth to get out the containers, many of which are nearly empty, and...

"crash!"

It's Happened Before

 Well, now we hear that "an aide" played the music from "Cats", especially "Memories" to calm down the "King". (i.e. former guy)   Couldn't help but being reminded of a long ago story from the Hebrew Bible: Mad Saul and an unknown shepherd boy named David.