Graduating from How To Books

 We got so upset with how-to books that often disrespectfully told you how to work, economize, organize, and play...(For example: Bill was told he had to have three hours of recreation, and I was told I had to accomplish six things daily, despite the fact that one thing can take all day) so, I rebelled by scheduling nothing. Well, that didn't seem to work. Verification was that Bill said I seemed to be "walking around in a daze" yesterday.

So, I went back to scheduling. Maybe I only tackled one third of it, but I was more "with it". I guess it was the "disrespectful" parts of these books were the problem. One would insist on organizing the kitchen first, even though your office may have been driving you nuts. The kitchen project was supposed to take a month. You found yourself STILL organizing the kitchen as you approached the end of the month, and there was no end in sight. Or the budgeting books would chide you and say, "Order the store brand at least the first time, because your rich uncle isn't going to leave you a hefty inheritance, (don't remind me) so you'd better eat that blah-tasting excuse for a meal, Idiot."

When my dad coached me on writing, he told me, "You have to respect your reader, or they won't continue reading. They'll just put down the book."

Yet, we continued reading these books. We must not have had the self respect to say, "Hey...just a minute. Just how am I going to get all that recreation time in? And what if I'd like to tackle the office first? How can I possibly go to the next project next month, when I'm not done with this one?

It all goes back to teaching; you had to have a plan. For subbing, you had to have the other person's plan. I was pretty surprised, when subbing, the kids would ask, "What are we going to do today?" I thought, "You mean even though I'm a sub, you won't just be content to torture me for an hour? You really want to follow an agenda, to DO something?" So, kids actually WANT healthy boundaries.

I guess we never outgrow that need, but when you really "grow up", your plan has to be your own.